Oil Tanks & Garage Doors

April 11, 2025

Another week since Barbara passed. Still too quiet. All of us are looking for a sign that Barbara is ok.  She used to talk about all us being part of an energy field and somehow being tied to the speed of light. She liked red cardinals, so we’ve been looking for those.  

This past week, I did my taxes, but felt odd filling it out in the joint status.  Continued dealing with paperwork and changes to insurance and all of that.

As I mentioned last time, I’ll be moving near Pelham to be close to Chris and his family. Getting the house ready to go on the market next month. I hear it’ll sell quickly. I have mixed feelings about this. Barbara and I raised a family here for over 40 years. Lots of memories.  There is a closet door that has measurements of all three kids growing up. We have a pool in the backyard which had to be kept at least 85 degrees for Barbara to go in.  Chris would hit golf balls into the woods. And having the grandkids over, particularly for 6 weeks during Covid is a nice memory.  

So..this week, I had the in ground oil tank abandoned and replaced with an above ground unit and had the garage door replaced as well to help with “street appeal” once the house goes on the market. Right now, looking to move in the June timeframe.  The garage and attic are still a mess, but getting there. Shredding a lot of old bills, tax returns and other useless paperwork.

Next week, the Sisters, Kim and Maria will be here to help with figuring out what to do with Barbara’s clothes as well as helping to get the house ready. Somehow, I have to figure out what to keep, furniture wise, from a three bedroom house down to a one bedroom apartment.  I see a storage unit in my future!

I also started grief therapy at Catholic Hospice in Port Jefferson and will be going to a weekly group session starting next Wednesday.  In the first session, the therapist, Audrey, told me it’s very common to talk about the quiet and loneliness. But she also mentioned that I will gradually transition to a new version of myself.   Jeff, 2.0?  Maybe…but right now, I’m just missing Barbara. I keep catching myself wanting to tell her something or get her feedback. Her sisters have told me the same thing.  

Barbara had this “circle” of telephone calls that she would make every day.  Usually, it was her Sisters, Kim, Maria, Leonie, Nancy, and Sue (who I refer to as Cousin Suzy). There was this constant dialog, laughter, and human interaction. I really miss that. I find myself making these same calls.  

Sleep is getting a little better. But, I still wake up everyday thinking about Barbara. I doubt that will ever go away.

On this site, you’ll see a gallery of pictures that I took with my Telescope/Camera. It’s called a SeeStar 50. This includes the Total Eclipse we all went to last April in Indianapolis.  It all fits in this energy story. I’ll continue to share other pictures I’ve taken. 

Lastly, for those of you who are going through a similar experience, I’d like to hear your stories and suggestions. I’ll let you all know how the therapy goes next week and whether any of see any signs from Barbara.

Talk to you next week.

Jeff