A little over 6 weeks now since Barbara passed. The quiet and loneliness is with me all the time. I’m hoping with the warmer weather and going outside, the loneliness will be easier to deal with.
A lot has happened over the past several days.
Continuing to get the house ready to move. Pool was opened. Water temp was a balmy 49 degrees, but it will show well when the real estate agent has to take pictures.
I also went to a Seder at Cousin Suzy’s house. The last Seder I went to before converting must have been at least 40 years ago. Sue went through the readings in less than 20 minutes to make sure her grandkids didn’t get bored. Very nice time!
As I’m going through old boxes, I’ve been shredding a lot of old bills and other paperwork.
There are a lot of VHS tapes. I was able to play some of these. Old recordings of Christmas, kids coming home from hospital, dance and music recitals. I had forgotten how blond Danielle’s hair was when she was small. Kim and Danielle often wore matching dresses. There are also tapes of Kim dancing at Walnut Hill and other venues.
Also went to my first Group grieving session at CHS Hospice. I’ll continue to go for the remaining 7 sessions. There were seven of us. Four men, and three women. Some of the stories were devastating. But I did find it to be helpful.
The big event was going through Barbara’s closet and having a last minute garage sale. And Easter. Kim, Maria, and Barbara’s sisters Eileen, Marianne, and Sue all helped. Kim and Maria worked really hard. Barbara had a lot of clothes! Being a teacher and a math chair required suits, dresses, and a lot of shoes. Everyone took something that Barbara would have wanted them to have. Barbara’s two bikes went to Marianne. We also sold (and gave away) Waterford Bowls and Precious Moments. Apparently, no one wants this stuff!
Yesterday was Easter. Kim and I went up to Pelham to be with the “Pelham Gersons”. First holiday without Barbara, which was hard. But, the weather was nice and I had fun putting three Easter Baskets together (with Kim’s help of course!).
Lastly, for those of you who are going through a similar experience, I’d like to hear your stories and suggestions. I’ll let you all know how the group therapy goes this week.
Talk to you next week.
Jeff