Mother’s Day, pictures, and What’s next?

Just went through the first Mother’s Day without Barbara.    

I ended up going to Sister Sue’s house.  The other Sisters and my Mother-in-Law were there along with spouses.  It was good to go somewhere.

Chris, Kim, and Danielle each dealt with this first Mother’s Day without Barbara in their own way.  We really didn’t talk much on Sunday but did catch-up earlier this week.  

I’m continuing to get the house ready.  But the CO-OP deal fell apart.  Getting the dogs to live there was a challenge.  So..looking at other alternatives.  I’m thinking maybe I’ll end up moving in the Fall.  We’ll see.  There is a level of grief moving as well!  We were here for 40 years.  As Cousin Suzy reminds me…I need to give myself some grace!

I want to be part of the grandkids’ lives and be the Doting “PopPop” as I’ve mentioned in prior posts.  I see Barbara in each of the grandkids. 

At Grief Counseling this week, we shared pictures of our spouses.  We also had to describe how we met.  I had a picture that was taken in Cape Cod three years ago.  I also mentioned how I met Barbara in Physics class.  We also ended up in the same Math classes.  She always did better on exams!    She started teaching right out of college.    I told the group how she could fill up a room. 

It was nice to see pictures of the other spouses and hear the stories.   Andrew’s wife was named Andrea.  When they were together, they referred to themselves as the “A Team”.   

I continue to talk to “The Sisters” all the time.    We’re all going to a local art show where Eileen’s work is being displayed along with other artists who won awards in last year’s art show in Setauket.  

And..I’m still struggling with who I am going to be next.  That’s going to take time. I know it’s a recurring theme in my blogs, but besides the grief and loneliness, it’s the biggest uncertainty right now. 

Talk to you next week.

Jeff